Lately, I’ve heard “Bucket Lists” getting some bad press. I think the idea is that the goals are unattainable, or perhaps too obvious, or maybe you should scrap the list and just do fun things.
I disagree. Sure. You’re not going to do everything on your bucket list; some of the items will remain impractical. And I say, “So what if some of your items are obvious” (hello, Great Wall of China). As for the third criticism; can’t you have a bucket list and still do fun things? I remain unconvinced and a staunch bucket list advocate!
“Why?”, you ask. There are a couple of reasons. For me a bucket list represents a set of goals without the added pressure of having to make plans, or in some way; manifest it as reality. You have the luxury of allowing these goals to percolate at the back of your mind, waiting for an opportunity to present itself. It’s a goal without the added pressure (or self-recrimination) that comes from adding it to your to-do list. An unrealized bucket list item is a perfectly acceptable outcome for me.
Having what for me is a virtual (I don’t write it down) dream list is wonderful. I can imagine that I’m experiencing any one of my list items at any time. In fact it’s the dreaming that gives the bucket list its value.
No where is this so strongly evidenced as when you actually manage to check off a bucket list item. What typically happens to me is … in the moment, I’m just enjoying the experience, as I would any other unique life experience. I’m not caught up in the excitement in a “Wow, I’m ticking off a bucket list item!” kind of way.
It’s after the experience is over, and I’m back at home having some downtime that I get to savour the sense of accomplishment of having achieved something that I had dearly wanted to do. And I can savour the same experience over and over again.
The first time I really experienced the glory of fulfilling a bucket list item, was when I first went to Paris. I had always dreamed of going; ever since I was a young girl living in Germany. We saw a lot of Europe in our short stay there, but never Paris. The dream of seeing that “missed” city stayed with me into adulthood.
It remained an elusive dream; one that only independently wealthy people could achieve. I remember when that changed. I was watching an old JoBeth Williams movie “American Dreamer”; set in Paris, when the thought wiggled into my consciousness. “Maybe I could actually go.?”
Once that thought crept in, I couldn’t shake it; I kept thinking of how it would be possible (instead of why it wouldn’t be). I had airline miles that I could use; my parents would be happy to stay with the kids. Surely, I could afford to stay for just a week … and so on.
Next thing you know, there I was heading on my dream trip to Paris for a week! To this day, just thinking about that trip brings a sense of happiness and satisfaction. I’ve since been to Paris four more times.
This first bucket list item opened the door for experiencing other bucket list items. My non-exhaustive list includes:
- Two trips to Venice
- A river cruise
- A visit to the Great Wall of China
- A return trip to Sydney, Australia
- A hot air balloon ride
- Two trips to Ireland
If I could choose the one tidbit that you take away from this article, it’s this: Think about one thing that you’d love to do. Without any pressure, allow yourself to mentally play with the idea of making it happen. What does that look like? Can you make any compromises to make it happen sooner vs. later? Can you remove any roadblocks that are standing in your way?
If you can think of a way to make it happen; then take a step in that direction. If it remains elusive; then by all means allow yourself the luxury of imagining what it would be like. Win-win!
